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Paris from Age: 28. I love hard sex, looking for a man of age, I love to do nice.

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Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage. You didn't want to have lentils for dinner, but no one ever listens to you.. And sometimes, just sometimes, this is because a hair has gotten lodged in your butt crack, the other end of it has gotten lodged in your vagina, and now you're going to have to stop this bonefest and pull it out. Make sure to take vitamins and wash your hands during cold season, folks.

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Jean from Age: 21. I invite you to visit a very intimate meeting! I know how to give men what they lack in bed...

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If your sex life involves a partner shooting semen into one or more of your holes, it usually comes out soon after. Once, when I was getting over a cold, I had a strong cough, but managed to find someone who still wanted to make out with me. Oh, God, the cat got in here. How were you supposed to keep track of what went where, or who took what out of what hole. I was already many minutes into full-on bangin', when I felt a cough coming on. I was very drunk, having intercourse, and just suddenly, I knew that the jig was up, and the need to find a trash can became more important than anything else.

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Sheila from Age: 21. Relaxed and passionate lady is ready to reveal to a generous man all the possibilities of his ideal body.

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Ashley from Age: 22. I'll invite a hot man to visit.

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Oh, God, the cat got in here. Why don't I initiate some sexy times, and then spend the rest of said sexy times squirming away from my beautiful partner's beautiful mouth, which legitimately smells like someone just farted into it. Some people accidentally poop during or after anal sex or a rim job. How you got there isn't important. Ah, another beautiful morning with my beautiful partner. And the moral of the story is.

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Chantal from Age: 26. Looking for a lover to meet in neutral territory. Want with him for a holiday and soul of and the body.
Description: Maybe your partner pushed your head down too far, because they have watched way, way, waaaay too many porn movies. Is it trying to get in on these tacos.. But sometimes, we are oh so very wrong, and only find out after a romp that leaves you and your partner both looking like Carrie. You didn't want to have lentils for dinner, but no one ever listens to you.. Weird lump that they should probably have checked out by a doctor. So download Bustle's app from iTunes for all the most recent sex and relationships news, advice, memes, and GIFs from around the Web. And sometimes, just when you think you've gotten them all and can finally relax, you feel something weird while you're having sex.
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